Saturday, December 11, 2010

The Imp Within

There is within the confines of my skull, a pressure vessel and within the pressure vessel resides a tiny little homunculus I call the imp. The imp is normally contained within the pressure vessel, but when the stresses and strains of life become too great, cracks begin to develop in the vessel. The imp, a miniscule, ever active, mischievous thing is constantly rattling about inside, bouncing off the walls, forever searching for an escape rout. It eventually finds a crack and extruding itself through said opening, it then pops out and takes control of the machinery of me. That’s when all hell breaks out as it makes me say and do things I normally wouldn’t say or do. But, it isn’t me really, it’s the imp. And because it’s the imp making me say and do those things…I’m absolved of all responsibility. It wasn’t me; it was the imp.

A prime example of the effect of the imp on my life came the day I discovered a nail in the sidewall of one of my tires. I squatted down to more closely examine the damage and as I did so I could hear myself say, sub-vocally, “Don’t pull it out.” But my hand moved forward. And again with more emphasis I heard myself say “Don’t pull it out!!” But my hand continued to move forward, and again I heard myself veritably shout “Nooooo! Don’t’ pull it out!!!” Psssssssss…I pulled the nail out. Why, did I do that? How could that have happened when I knew full well what would be the result? My only explanation for such behavior is to say some other active agent had control of my hand at that moment and it forced me to do its will. It was the imp, not me. I can’t begin to tell you how vexed I was as it was me, who had to pay for the damage and not the imp.

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